A Peek back at the Peak

By definition Peek – to take a brief look : glance. peeked ahead to the next chapter to see what would happen. I decided to peek back.

I recently hit the four year mark of my exit from “mainstream” health care. And while I don’t miss the absolute bull shit stuff that made up the Rant I do miss some aspects of that life. So the peek back also hits the peak of my career, where I spent 12 years as the orthopedic resource nurse in the operating room of a trauma hospital.

I often felt split in four during the most hectic of times with my orthopedic service covering trauma, spine, pediatrics, and total joints. So many times I felt like I was in the wrong theatre, but there was only one of me, and I tried my best to troubleshoot and be where I was needed most. I also did all the education for new operating room nurses (which was the most intensive) but also played a significant role in that of the orthopedic residents. I had to be up to speed on new instrumentation and equipment, which was definitely one of my favourite parts.

I definitely don’t miss working weekends, evenings, night call or the stupidly insane parking situation on/off campus. I don’t miss the “bickering” of a large staff nor the negative vibes of the workforce. I certainly don’t miss the dungeon aspect of working somewhere without windows nor the crappy hospital food. I actually don’t even miss the paycheck.

Truthfully, I only miss a handful of people, but what I really miss is the teamwork that I had with that select group of doctors and nurses. I miss the trauma cases of being totally in sync with the entire surgical team to save lives. I miss the precision scrubs of a total knee or a hip. I miss the really complex fractures that required many pans of instruments and two surgeons.

I left on my terms. It was important to me that I left at my peak. I didn’t want to be like milk after it’s best before date with an off smell and a gross taste. I left as I could tell the role was taking a toll on my body; so much heavy lifting, mental exhaustion, and wonky hours were beginning to wear me out. I left as the role needed to be split into three. I left when the call of my grandchildren was more persistent in my head than the phone at 0500 asking if I could come in early for a trauma. I left on my terms, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t still miss it.

It’s hard to believe it’s been four years until I look at the “wee lad” who hadn’t even been born when I retired. I was telling a story the other day about a surgeon calling instruments by there correct or incorrect names (it’s funny but in an inside joke kind of way so I won’t bother repeating it here) and for the life of me I couldn’t remember the real name of that particular piece of instrumentation from the intramedullary nail pan. It still escapes me. I am certain if I saw the pan it would bounce back in an instant but would it? Time away from the environment makes things move back in the memory banks and perhaps those spots have been taken up by delightful little conversations with my grandchildren or working out quilt patterns.

My mom said, and I quote “if you are stupid enough to be a nurse, you had better be a good one.” The stupid refers to the shift work and the holidays you miss and the scut work that nurses perform. The good one refers to how nurses weren’t being trained in the ’70s (and perhaps even now), and she wanted to make sure I knew my stuff.

Well, the man in the middle of the photo above texted me for the better part of three years begging me to come back. The man on the right misses me but was happy for me. There are, I hear, many times that my name comes up in the trauma room and not in a bad way. I left a legacy of well trained nurses and patients who got excellent care.

As an aside, your work friends are often just that. Work friends. One has to really try hard to keep the connection alive once work is gone. I am glad I’ve kept it up with

I still miss it and sometimes wonder if I left too soon, but looking back, I am glad I went. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not bored and indeed haven’t even started to get all those long-term objectives completed. I love the flexibility of my current work situation and jump at the chance to use the new instrumentation or teach someone new. Which says, I guess, that what I miss is the challenge.

Thanks for reading my trip down memory lane, my peek back at the peak of my career.

Thanks to Terri over at Second Wind Leisure perspectives for hosting the #Sundaystills. I missed the boat in January, on the fourth anniversary, of doing a look back post and knew as soon as I saw this theme how to work it in. Love a challenge! Also, photo credit for the feature picture goes to my young work friend who has many many talents. Her skill behind the camera is only secondary to her huge heart, so thanks, M!

Bernie