Broken Down 

This is not a post about my vehicle or the state of our local roads. Rather it’s about what we ask our bodies to do and how we usually push ourselves because at this moment I feel like a FORD (found off road daily). 

It’s hard to admit but sometimes my body is starting to feel it’s age.  Perhaps it’s because I had 10 days off and felt amazing. No early mornings, heavy patients, OR tables and equipment to move around. No run run run for 8 hours a day. Plus sunshine and beer at lunch. My body felt amazing despite 5 (yes 5!!!!) full days on the slopes. But the return to reality has been harsh. 

I didn’t sleep well when we were away but still managed. Since returning home I’ve slept really badly. Like really badly.  Mostly because my back has gone south in a huge hurry. I’ve tried all my usual tricks like meds, heat, shower, stretches and not much has worked. 

So by mid morning I knew my back had gone into crisis mode although  to put it into perspective it’s not life threatening and it’s 95% external factors. The spasms in the night lead to such tightness that I could hardly bend over. About the only thing that works is to keep walking. 

Thank heavens for a well timed phone call and the cancellation list. In to see my favourite physio man at the end of my work day. The one with hands like a Mack Truck. It’s usually not fun and I often swear at him a little (or perhaps a lot). We share a long history of him keeping me “on the road” so to speak but we were talked frankly about aging and respecting what the body is trying to say. We also discussed the tough hours my job puts on my body. This was followed by a brutally honest conversation about my lack of a regular stretching and strengthening routine. The up side he showed me this super cool 3D image of the my trouble area. This is not that image but it shows the two muscles that are acting together to haunt me. 

 

Now the issue is the one I always face when my back is brutal. I know,   without any hesitation, that it will recover faster if I don’t push it. So lots of ice, stretching, walking and light activities. Add too much heavy stuff and the various muscles all start to complain loudly together. Then it takes forever to get better. So I opted for a heavy duty muscle relaxant, a hot bath and a sick day from work. That’s tough for me. I feel immense guilt when I’m forced to put my feet up and rest but sometimes you have to listen to your body. I always feel like I’ve let my team and my patients down. 

Bernie 

Not Such Fresh Trails 

I came home from work yesterday feeling totally depleted. It hasn’t been harder than any other day at work although that was preceded by a poor night of sleep. 

Then today I got the Facebook memory feed that said a year ago I posted a blog called Running on Empty (yeah me — first time I’ve done a link via my iPhone so hope it works). It’s was very interesting to me that I was feeling the same way a year ago. I had analyzed the why’s and the how’s too counteract it. 

Last year I seriously lacked moderation despite it being my key word for the year. By the end of the year I realized I do very little moderately and a lot of things full tilt.  

With this year’s three key words of  creativity, confidence and prosperity my challenge is to figure out why I am out is balance. 

I think perhaps it has more to do with the time of year than any particular activities. While the days are getting longer the cumulative lack of sunlight during work hours can hardly be balanced out at the end of the day. This always seems to be a low period for my exercise regimes as well and as I stated in last nights blog I’m feeling like a Butterball. I’ve a few items on my to do list that are weighing a bit heavy on me although I recently completed one of them. 

So it’s not really fresh trails or new adventures that are challenging me but rather some of the same issues that drag at my heels regularly. So I submit to myself that I need to use creativity, confidence and prosperity to as tools. 


Bernie 

Remiss

Apparently I have been a bit remiss as a new grandparent in the blogging world. Those that know me well wonder why there seems to be so little posted about Baby A.

I am two things. First off I am totally thrilled and over the moon to be a “Nan” or “Gran” or “Gramma”. I don’t care what she calls me as long as my kisses and hugs surround her. So far she and I are off to a great start on that front. I stop in for cuddles and baths and the odd feeding. I am, occasionally, helpful to momma and dad which is really why grandparents are supposed to show up. But mostly I’m there so Baby A and I can bond.

Second off I am trying to respect both Baby A’s and her mother’s request for privacy. Now that was the case in the first week but since then I’ve felt reluctant to parade tons of photos through all my feeds. Maybe I’m not sharing well or maybe I’m trying to find that elusive balance.

I know that I Broke those rules  most days when I blog. I also find that when I share a lot in this public forum that my friends always seem to know my new stories. I won’t give up blogging though as I love putting pen to paper (as it was once and I don’t think that the saying has evolved yet) and recording my thoughts and feelings. Having said that I don’t like going too overboard. I follow a blog where the writer is a nurse, farmer’s wife and mother. She does a ton of advocacy for children’s health and for agriculture as a whole but she also blogs every child’s every milestone. Another blog I follow usually has her children modeling their clothes (that she sews them) with backs to the camera. My son’s friend posted a pregnancy photo but then no news long past the due date. I finally had to ask if the baby had been born and if everything was ok. Apparently their child won’t be appearing on social media at all. One of my young colleagues said she doesn’t care that she’s turning Facebook into Babybook as she’s so in love and wants to share. 

So you see what I’m trying to achieve. First off she’s not totally “mine” to share and secondly I want some balance in both the blog and their privacy. Tonight though my daughter publicly shared their newborn photos which I’m choosing to share a few here on the blog (with her permission). It’s a tough job narrowing down the great photos to chose from! 



Bernie (aka Nan)

Fresh trails -Take 1 

Fresh trails up ahead 

Uncharted territory 

Creative pathways 

Hidden holes and creeks 

Meandering progress still 

Confidently go


Gauge prosperity 

In all those special moments 

Not by an account 

Just go for the joy 

See beyond the obvious 

Find the dinosaur 

Fresh trails on take one 

New season coming here soon 

It’s all perspective 

Bernie