Posted in health, rural life, Self Care

My current juxtaposition

The pale colours near the horizon give way above to the fading indigo. Dawn creeps across the sky. The yard lights, which dot the valley to the east, a steady spot on a quiet morning.

Occasionally I leave for work early enough to stop for a photo! Not often.

This scene plays itself out 365 times a year. The only difference being the time on the clock that matches the rising sun. The brilliance of the snow will slowly fade to the glorious greens, yellows and blues of the farm lands below. Then the slow switch back to the fall’s golden touch which will once again be replaced by that first dusting of white.

It goes without saying I used this picture very specifically because of the colours

In the western sky nightly we will be treated to the delicious colours of a beautiful prairie sunset. On a bitterly cold day the sky may burst into colour with sundogs. At night the moon keeps us company with it’s outstanding brilliance. The northern lights dance across the sky on occasion and the milky way never fails to thrill when “the stars align” and it is in it’s full glory.

Not the most stellar photo of the Northern Lights but it will do donkey, it will do

The scenery and days changes in a natural progression. Nothing radical happens. Which is the point. This is my privileged backdrop to a world wide pandemic that saw lockdowns, health care bulging at the seams and a significant death toll. This is where I watch global climate change as it rages away with severe unprecedented weather that impacts so many. And now this is my view as I read and watch the news about the war in the Ukraine.

And war it is. Millions displaced; mostly mothers, grandmothers and children. Tears streaming down their faces or looks of absolute shock. Fathers, son, brothers and grandfathers left to fight against an enemy lead by a man who is so full of vitriol that it is hard for me to phantom. At this point there are no concepts really of a death toll and casualty lists as the situation is so intense bodies are not even been gathered up. The bread basket of Europe is literally being destroyed. It’s an area very rich in minerals, natural gas and productive farmland plus add in a high level of nuclear power and now it is being decimated.

It reminds me of the pictures of Syria and that is the rub that keeps nibbling at me. For over 10 years there has been “civil” war in Syria (aided by Russia) and a huge mass exodus of a country that has literally been bombed to smithereens. The humanitarian exodus crisis there has never resolved and the numbers in refugee camps is astounding as they have no place to go back to nor anywhere to go forward to. And now Putin pushes through into Ukraine after annexing Crimea in 2014. And “we” stand by.

I sit and watch my rural country side. I have sleepless nights. I give to the Red Cross. It does not feel like enough. I read other posts and know that many feel the same way. A sort of helplessness. During the First World War women and girls knit socks for the troops. They needed them for warmth and to keep their feet in good condition in the trenches. This war has people booking Ukrainian AirBnB’s so that they can get money directly into the hands of the local people. Perhaps that is the equivalent. Canadian students use their internet prowess to help fleeing Ukrainians avoid the areas of heaviest conflict. The neighbouring countries are opening their gates and it seems the world will as well. Which strikes me as unfair given the number of Syrian refuges (last count 5.6M) still living in camps.

The phrase “to hell in a handbasket” seems to keep coming to mind because on a macro level the world seems so overwhelming. And it all feels so out on my control because it is. I find it hard to write of light fluffy stuff just as I did during the discovery (now ongoing in many regions of Canada) of the graves of murdered Indigenous children sent to Residential Schools. I feel, as a free Canadian (and don’t even get me started on those stupid freedom rallies or it’s a long rant like it was at the ski hill in Saskatoon today) we need to do more.

On a personal micro level 2022, so far, has seemed to tilt towards the overwhelming as well. There have been some highs to help balance the lows. And throughout both the micro and the macro levels of life I’ve come to realize two things. There is a lot of s*** in life that you cannot control. One must hang on to hope.



I have had a love of the written word for my entire life. It's no surprise that eventually I found a platform where I could write. It's random; sometimes funny, occasionally sad, maybe even at times from anger and I lean towards creative photography and hands on crafts. I have a few blogs that high light these interests.

17 thoughts on “My current juxtaposition

    1. Hope doesn’t seem to spring eternal and one, especially right now, needs to actually search it out. I have been reading about it and and reflecting. Thanks for reading and commenting. Bernie

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Deb. I just felt it was so important to put into words my emotions. It seems to help me process them. I have been doing some reading on hope as my WOTY and perhaps might pull together a blog post about it. Bernie

      Liked by 1 person

    1. The length of Covid, North American political unrest and b.llsh.t that we have seen here set the stage and now the war. It does indeed seem like there is helplessness but we must continue to hope and to speak out and take actions to help however we can. With educational posts like yours or heartfelt ones like mine, with sending relief or money for relief, etc. Take care Jane. Bernie


  1. It has been hard to watch the mayhem of the American bipartisan system flow faster and faster across our border and around the world, aided by the stresses caused by Covid. We want our freedoms, while those in Ukraine are fighting a psychotic narcissist just for the right to exist. All those who frequently talk about the elite who are planning a Global reset, fail to see that it is not the elite at all. It is the world’s bullies, the Trumps, the Putins, the Xis, the Bolsonaros and the Jong-ils all scrambling to control their people while advancing their personal wealth and fame beyond what anyone needs, at the expense of their citizens. We scream at the rightists, the leftists, the communists, the anarchists, the fascists and we slowly become those who we scream at. Where the H— are the Humanists? People think the nanoparticles in the vaccines are the Mark of the Beast. Instead, it is our browser history that is the Mark of the Beast. I am so tired of the anger and impatience of people who see one side of a discussion and assume it is right without doing any further research. Stay well Bernie and keep hoping for some good news. Allan


    1. Allan, we were talking a lot this weekend about the polar views, radicalization and how it is so divisive within family units and country wide. It’s absolutely scary and holding on to hope doesn’t seem like enough and then add in the war and one realizes how fragile it all can be. “To hell in a handbasket” is exactly what it feels like and I can tell from your comment you feel the same way. We must continue to add our voices and not be the silent majority that gets walked on. Take care. Bernie

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Janis. I just felt I could not write of anything else. Add to that the micro type of stuff in my world and I can tell you that my fiction is a long way from being published. Take care. Sorry for the late response to this and your other comment. Bernie


  2. You are right, Bernie – we must hang on to hope. We do each have the power to tilt the world toward change. Whether we knit socks, book an Air BnB in the Ukraine, donate, urge government/businesses for their support, help to amplify an urgent appeal, stay informed, etc. Our words and actions can make a powerful dfifference — especially when we join together.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Donna — I wish knitting socks would turn the tide. I would pick up my needles again. But yes we must not look away and we must stay socially active in whatever way we can. Thanks for stopping by. Take care. Bernie


  3. Beautifully written Bernie 🥰 People living in war affected countries live in constant fear, experiencing grave violations of their rights. Given that armed conflicts have a devastating impact on the mental health, Europe and rest of the world have to get ready for a long road to recovery ☺️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aiva — and the destruction continues and it is so heartbreaking. The conditions for those in the Ukraine are totally unimaginable to someone who has never lived through any sort of dangerous situation. Once this war ends it will indeed be a long time for the pieces to be picked up. Bernie

      Liked by 1 person

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