Posted in health, Self Care

It’s ok not to be ok…

I’ve been “lucky”. The starring role has always evaded me and the supporting role, while not comfortable at all, is where I have experience.

Today is a day that I try hard to post on. Mental health is an important issue in my world and I always want to raise awareness that it’s ok to not be ok.

If you don’t know what #BellLetsTalk is, it’s an awareness campaign created by the Canadian telecommunications company, Bell Canada, in an effort to raise awareness and combat stigma surrounding mental illness. Bell donates 5 cents for every applicable text, call, tweet or TikTok video using #BellLetsTalk, and use of their Facebook frame or Snapchat lens. So I try to do my share.

Because while my foray into it were both short stints of situation depression I know, very very well, others who have had to fight their way out of the well. Who have spent time inside learning that their brains are wired different, that self care is not selfish and that you take it one second at a time not one day at a time. When the laundry is too much or the grocery run seems insurmountable with anxiety pushing against the depression just the presence of someone who cares makes a huge difference. I have been that person. There are no right things to say. There is no easy way to make it better. There is no day that is the finish line in a mental health continuum.

And truly we could all be one or two crises away from the deep abyss. You just don’t know what life will throw at you so it’s important to keep your life full of self care. You need to find the resources (see my post here called Resiliency) and use the support when you reach that point. Journal, read, write, walk, run, dance or quilt your way to a happy place. Connect. Be a part of someone’s village – reach out and get help or be someone’s help.


if you only carry one thing throughout your entire life, let it be hope. Let it be hope that better things are always ahead. Let it be hope that you can get through the toughest of times. Let it be hope that you are stronger than any challenge that comes your way. Let it be hope that you are exactly where you are meant to be right now, and that you are on the path to where you are meant to be… Because during these times, hope will be the very thing that carries you through.

Nikki Banas



I have had a love of the written word for my entire life. It's no surprise that eventually I found a platform where I could write. It's random; sometimes funny, occasionally sad, maybe even at times from anger and I lean towards creative photography and hands on crafts. I have a few blogs that high light these interests.

17 thoughts on “It’s ok not to be ok…

  1. Given the current pandemic and world chaos, how can anyone be in the right place mentally. For all those that suffer during normal times, this must be unbearable. Even we eternal optimists have felt the crushing pressure of trying to help an elderly parent who is a reluctant participant. We normally tell others to lean on us. This time, we needed someone to lean on and very few came forward. And as we all know, the hits have kept on coming since then. We all need someone to talk to, even if they only just listen to us. Therapy of any kind can not be underrated. Thanks for posting on this topic. Stay well. Sending hugs. 🤗🤗Allan


    1. Thanks for the comment and the thoughts about life during the pandemic. As you know this is a topic that is very near to my heart but I am never surprised by how many people it resonates with. Mental health is a continuum so we all come and go with our struggles. I hope things are levelled off for you and Patti. Sorry for the late response on this — found it today in the same (Silly WP). Bernie


  2. I have had major struggles with stress and anxiety, which fortunately are way less of an issue than they ever were. I would never try to dissuade anyone from trying anything that might help, but personally talking about my stress and anxiety always made it worse. Honestly, I think working my own way through it has made me a stronger person. 💞


    1. Anne Marie – we all have our own path to walk and what works for one definitely may not work for another. I know talking about my insomnia makes it worse so I can understand why talking about stress might do the same thing. Hope all is well with you at this point in time but as I said to someone else here — mental health is definitely a continuum and can ebb and flow significantly in many directions. Bernie


  3. oh Bernie, I am forever grateful for your posts that prompt great conversations about really important topics. For half of January, I felt like I was “crushing it” …. then just as quickly, January became full of slips and trips …. then guilt and feeling not worthy. But I have learned that I need to talk about these internal struggles with the ones that love me … because, well …. they love me! February is now a new month and I feel like i’m okay now. Struggling alone can’t happen for me. Thank you for being there, in written word, a quick text, or dragging my sorry butt around the perimeter of your yard to have great talks ……. and if anyone needs to talk, I have two ears for listening, and two big arms for hugs !!! – Aimy


    1. Ah Aimy — we need another long long long walk. Can’t say I am crushing anything right now so would love a friend wiht ears and arms for hugging. But as you say February is a new month, we need to talk with those that care and if we need bigger help we need to ante in and get it. You taught me that. HUGS my friend. Thanks for continuing to read and comment. Bernie


  4. This is such a great post, Bernie 🙂 Mental health is never easy. It’s difficult to talk about, it’s difficult to understand, it’s difficult feeling like you’re a little bit different from everyone else. However, the reality is that battles with mental health are extremely common. For me, a simple break away or once in a lifetime adventure can make all the difference. Taking some time away from education, work, whatever it may be and just doing something for myself helps me heaps. It’s so easy to become consumed in what we feel we have to do, adhering to the unnecessary pressures of life, feeling out of control and unable to say, ‘enough is enough.’ Thanks for sharing and have a good day 🙂 Aiva xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aiva, it definitely is hard to understand and to talk about but we must all do it. It just can’t be the elephant in the room and with the pandemic mental health is taking a toll all around the world. Glad you know what you need and when. We need to recognize those times so that we don’t end up so far down the hole that we can’t see and hear the words of encouragement from others and the helping hands. Thanks for reading and connecting over this issue that I am so committed to. Bernie

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Louise, I am not sure that I am always a light but I am an advocate for sure. At this point I am conserving my strength for full time grandparenting and assisting our daughter in whatever way we can. I can say for sure that wisdom doesn’t come easy and neither does keeping my mouth shut when I should but I am trying. Life can be a real challenge. Thanks for letting me know you connected with what I wrote. I remember you writing about your mother’s silent journey through a life time of mental illness. I am happy that now my grandchildren will know a remodelled version of their mother. Bernie


  5. Well said, Bernie, on a topic that is particularly challenging for many people right now. The added isolation and uncertainty created by Covid has turned many people’s worlds upside down.

    And while we’re at it, let’s give some much needed support to those who are in the supporting roles. Being a caregiver is HARD work – physically and emotionally. More than ever we need to be kind to one another.


    1. Joanne, it is true that being a caregiver is hard work. Whether it is caring for a dementia spouse or a mental health crisis of your daughter it is so consuming. Add in full time grandparenting and wow. I am feeling my age and definitely am having to work on my own self care items. A few stolen moments sewing (while they are wrecking the room) or a sunset walk (with a 4 year old) I have to do these things so I can keep my own peace. Holding my tongue, for me, is the hardest. I am a “let’s get shit done” kind of person and having to wait for someone to feel ready can be so challenging. And yes the isolation and uncertainly (let’s just say Saskatchewan is not the place to live right now and I can only be thankful that we are rural and go to the city infrequently) is certainly adding a level to it. Thanks for the comment. It’s nice to connect and know that people are truly listening. Bernie


      1. Wow Bernie. You certainly have your hands full! It sounds like you need a heaping helping of care yourself. Consider yourself hugged from afar.


    1. Donna — which social media did you share it to? That’s quite a compliment. I just feel so passionate about it. Mental health affects so so many people but it’s not like having gastritis or glaucoma which people will talk about. Take care. Bernie


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