It was one of those really bad nights. The kind that used to plaque me all the time, that I sure the heck haven’t missed. It was followed by a very demanding work day. Compounded by zero sunshine. Which, surprisingly enough, lead to a long walk at dusk.
All of this cummulated in a last minute swap out of calendar activities. I decided today should really be the 15th and will do today’s activity that day.
The true essence of a kindness calendar which allowed me not to push through exhaustion (more on that later) and allowed me to be kind to myself. Which is exactly what I needed. Indeed it’s probably what a lot of us need right now.
Today’s activity became to smile at myself in the mirror and know that I am doing an awesome job during these difficult times.
Which leads me back to the insomnia. The cause of which, I strongly suspect, is Covid19 related. The numbers here continue to rise. A serging second wave that is far scarier than the first wave ever was, even though it felt like there was more unknowns then. It seems there is no political guts to do a second lock down except in the Maritimes. Although, in all fairness, Manitoba has been locked down but it seems to be too late and the virus is rampant in seniors homes and indigenous communities.
My dream casual retirement job is now full of challenges and stress. Thankful to be finished teaching for the university and spendinh time in the main OR but still, for the first time, I feel the stress of work again.
Which makes it so important to be kind to myself. To eat comfort food (aka chicken nachos with french fries and guacamole) and drink my favourite ice cold craft IPA. To spend the evening enjoying the Christmas lights around the house and watching a cheerful Christmas movie. To reach out here and know that I have the support of my wonderful readers.
I know that I am not the only one feeling this weight from this second wave. It’s evident at work, in phone calls and in the news. We really do need to band together and stay strong. Find joy in the daily, push outside of your mind set to see the positives and embrace the quiet of staying home. Look at it this way — all those health care workers and essential service providers don’t have that option.
Oh and laugh. It’s a proven stress reliever. I wonder, is Red Green on YouTube? HM…we’re all in this together, keep your stick on the ice as the man himself says.