It was a two word text that sent me into a tail spin/funk. It seems like such a simple question but it’s so complex because, yeah, it’s 2020 and Covid is on the rise. Add to that the fact that everyone has different levels of comfort/risk management and it becomes a loaded question.
For two days I didn’t respond to my son. Now I’m used to him not replying (he says – if you want me phone) but I suspect he wondered what what up that I didn’t respond. Finally I answered as honestly as I could.
The truth is we are trying to figure out how to make it work and don’t have any answers.
I can’t say I felt a single stitch better after I finally responded. It is weighing heavily on my mind. My now huge circle from teaching, my work circle. My husband’s non existent circle. My son’s work circle, his biking circle and their friends, daughter in law with work x 2 circles. My daughter with her non existent circle and son in law with work circle. Plus the local number increasing. I’m not talking crazy numbers like a few other Canadian cities and provinces but enough.
There are no easy answers. There could potentially be hurt feelings. There could be long faces at or not at the dinner table. Meanwhile my brother and mother don’t understand why I won’t go down there and interface with them alongside my sister and family who are coming for a visit from two provinces away. There could be a slide apart, right here right now, that seems irrevocable. Maybe that sounds melodramatic but family dynamics are strange things.
It might seem like I am airing dirty laundry but I suspect we aren’t the only family facing this holiday dilemma. This sort of conversation is likely being held all across Canada. Well perhaps not in the Eastern bubble as they really do seem to be doing really well but central and western Canadian families need to have this kind of tough dialogue.
We can’t just thoughtlessly have 47 people for a baby christening or 20 people because it’s Thanksgiving. We need to make conscious decisions that may not be popular or easy. But, perhaps, if we give up Thanksgiving we can have Christmas. Worked this spring to give up Easter holidays and get our summer so I am hopeful that the Covid conscious decisions will be made by all.
In the meantime I do like fall and decorating for it as it helps brighten the darker days to come. You may be my only visitors to see my table but that’s ok. I’m thinking our gathering will be outside around a bonfire. No pumpkin pie or birthday cake on the menu.
So tell me what are your thanksgiving plans? Any ideas how to make it feel special even if you are alone?
I wanted to record these feelings and the struggles that Covid-19 have brought to the average family. In researching the 1918 Spanish influenza all you can find are death numbers and nothing about the hardship, struggle and devastation that families and communities were going through. Here in my Isolation Chronicles I’m recording what living through the Covid-19 pandemic was like. Perhaps someday, far in the future, someone will read this and glean information about what we live through.