I sit. I ponder. I dig. I sigh.
While I sit I focus on the positives and the view is definitely on that list. I ponder what I can do and realize that a lot of “it” is beyond my controls. I dig inside my head to help me find a focus. I even get pen and paper because having a list helps me. I sigh and lean into my other half, who is my rock. I sigh.
Please know I am ok. I am just sad with what so many around me struggle with. None of these stories are mine to share but they all affect me deeply. Tomorrow will be a new day. I will find a focus (like maybe I should actually clean the house you think?) and the sun will shine. I will put one foot in front of the other and again know that my positives surround me.
I read a term the other day that I really disliked – “lite and fluffy”. The gist is that’s how we are to appear on social media. Everyone has a hard/dark/painful/etc side but no one wants to know. I disagree. If I write from the heart how can I put on window dressing and pretend that the pain of others isn’t surrounding me? I am not that shallow and I don’t want to give the standard answer of “I’m fine” when really my heart grows heavy. Articulation of it; to my other half, to my closest friends and in word form here helps me cope. So I guess if you only wanted lite and fluffy you are at the wrong blog site.
The northern lights danced across the sky last night. I saw them twice. I want to believe it’s a sign even while I sigh.