I sit. I ponder. I dig. I sigh.
While I sit I focus on the positives and the view is definitely on that list. I ponder what I can do and realize that a lot of “it” is beyond my controls. I dig inside my head to help me find a focus. I even get pen and paper because having a list helps me. I sigh and lean into my other half, who is my rock. I sigh.
Please know I am ok. I am just sad with what so many around me struggle with. None of these stories are mine to share but they all affect me deeply. Tomorrow will be a new day. I will find a focus (like maybe I should actually clean the house you think?) and the sun will shine. I will put one foot in front of the other and again know that my positives surround me.
I read a term the other day that I really disliked – “lite and fluffy”. The gist is that’s how we are to appear on social media. Everyone has a hard/dark/painful/etc side but no one wants to know. I disagree. If I write from the heart how can I put on window dressing and pretend that the pain of others isn’t surrounding me? I am not that shallow and I don’t want to give the standard answer of “I’m fine” when really my heart grows heavy. Articulation of it; to my other half, to my closest friends and in word form here helps me cope. So I guess if you only wanted lite and fluffy you are at the wrong blog site.
The northern lights danced across the sky last night. I saw them twice. I want to believe it’s a sign even while I sigh.
Bernie
Equipoise Life 
HI, Bernie – I fully agree with the above commenters. Light and fluffy is for clouds and for lattes. Truth, honesty and passion are why I follow your blog. Sending warm hugs your way.
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Thanks for the hugs and the thoughtful comment. It’s nice to know that I do connect with my readers and that even without knowing the issues everyone sends their support.
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I think ‘lite and fluffy’ is for clouds, or maybe the foam on top of my latte.
Humans. We’ve got more substance.
I like your substance.
PS — those Northern Lights. WOW!
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Thanks Louise for your great perspective on lite and fluffy and for dropping by to comment.
The northern lights picture is actually from the spring as I didn’t have my phone with me the other night and for several reasons (mostly the sleeping baby next door) I was not going down to get it so just watched from the window. That was taken from our balcony during a particularly great show of them. They’ve been pretty quiet all spring (unusual) and summer(usual) so it felt special to see them when I was feeling sad and low.
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What a beautiful gift from Mother Nature – she knows how to show off when we need her most! ❤
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The world does not need light and fluffy, right now. It needs honesty and passion. We all have feelings, hopes and dreams and need to share that honesty. Fall is always a time for introspection, only this year, it seems even more ominous. Stay well Bernie. Allan
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Thanks Allan for your insightful words. I’ve never thought about fall quite that way but you are right. I get the ominous feeling as it’s easy to visit outside but not so easy in the dead of winter and I think we are all dreading it for that reason as Covid isn’t going anywhere yet.
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My daughters and I just had that conversation about winter! I am doing my best to stay ‘in the moment’ but the winter looms…
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I love winter for so many reasons but I think this one will test even me. I am enjoying late summer/early fall but do need a focus. That will also be what helps me get through the winter.
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We are enhancing our covered deck to make continued visits possible in winter, albeit a bit cooler. Gotta keep up the social aspect. Winter is already too long.
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That’s a great idea!
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❤
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