I suspect, that in his mind, it was the right decision at the correct time. Only time will tell if it was. By then the effect on us will have diminished although it won’t ever vanish. The path for us diverged.
There was an awkward moment on the weekend when an acquaintance said something about Ron’s job. We both replied not to worry that we were ok with talking about it. He jokingly wondered if we had gone through all the stages; grief, denial, anger, etc. Our response was that we had moved on.
Today’s kindness advent calendar task was to forgive someone. Now I have a long memory and have been known to hold a grudge but I’m working harder on letting go of stuff. The baggage that weighs us down and doesn’t add to our well-being. So this was the push I needed to let go of the final grudge from Tumultuous Tuesday .
Instantly after the event, for me, it was the whole U of S that I had anger for. But that very night we went to the College Building and sat in Convocation Hall and I couldn’t hold my anger against the history of the brick and mortar. There is no denying it’s a beautiful campus. I can walk or bike across it and enjoy the moment and the memories. Which is good because I work on campus.
I was a little longer to ease up on the specifics actions of some. As time went on it was obvious which office it had come from but Saskatoon is a small place so one minds their P’s and Q’s even when they don’t want to. Then as time moved along and we got our feet under us without the ground sliding away it became less important. As of today I feel like I could walk past a specific office dweller and just walk past him. As in that’s it — no grudge. I can only control my reaction to his actions. Letting go of it all is the best option. It’s taken me a lot longer to get there than Ron; which is weird as it “happened” to him not me but that’s the way we roll.