“Captain, I think you are an Instagram floozie” said the young Lieutenant as she tapped away at the computer.
The captain stopped on the threshold of the door and with a puzzled look said “floozie?”
“Yes. You know, like a harlot” she replied.
At this point the captain’s brain was madly rushing through Instagram photos to try and figure out what would classify as a harlot picture. The reply was phrased as another question. “A harlot?”
At this point the computer tapping stopped and the young scribe looked up and said “like an Instagram whore.”
To which the captain, who was looking decidedly uncomfortable now stated “I have no idea what you mean”. The data of innocent pictures has not pulled up anything out of the ordinary in the memory banks.
The silence filled the room and then the Lieutenant rushed to explain how this applied to the volume of photos and not the content. So it appears that the sheer magnitude of dog walk, flowers, sunsets, sunrises, garden produce, food and trip photos constitutes a floozy status.
The dictionary was then consulted by the Captain and all crew and the origins and meanings of the words were discussed.
Now it seems that the Captain and senior crew felt that perhaps these were not the appropriate terms but the younger members were unanimous in their use of these words for this situation. To which the old captain felt like a carrier pigeon put out to pasture. It also seems that it’s not hip to tweet any longer either so the Captain thought perhaps it was time to go down with the ship but then decided that was a bit drastic. In fact the next plan that ran through the mind was to so overwhelm the young Lieutenant with photos from everything seen through old eyes. Then instantly that perhaps it was to censor and be more discriminating in what was posted.
In the end, the captain carried on as before, posting photos that showed an appreciation of how rich and varied life is. The young Lieutenant decided that perhaps Instagram Holic or Addict seemed more appropriate for someone so aged and dated. And definitely not hip enough to be on Tumblr or Snapchat.